living in a pseudo world!!

just to tune it out.. my thoughts.. the ones i dont wanna hear... the ones which i know will cause me pain if i think too much about them...i keep listening to full moon all day long..that song...it kind of promises me there's some good which will come to me.. i keep reading twilight... then i am not rutuja, i am bella... i know living in this fantasy world wont do me any good...but for now , IT IS my personal brand of heroin!
its a drug...makes me forget what i want to.i know i'll have to face those things soon enough..but till then i will stay numb in my pseudo world...

A review: Of The First 10 Things That Came To MY MIND!

1) Robert Pattinson: His looks and bod!!!! Ohhhh…!!! And when he smiles and wears black!! Awwohhhhohhohoohhh!!! Even though I never really drooled over any celeb hunks, except maybe John Abraham, Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas, even then I wasn’t madly in love with them like I am with Robert  Pattinson.i just cant control my heart skipping a beat when I look at him. Also he reminds me of someone. So do his vampire-like teeth. I am being…Cheesy, I know… and so very teenage-girl-like, so unlike me, yet I can’t just get over that face!

2) Jesse: from the Mediator short novel series: Spanish 150 yr old ghost, but sexy nevertheless. Also chivalrous, protective, possessive. Blue eyes, hot abs. He calls Susannah “querida”. I am in love with him, and even though I am not so sure about Robert’s abs, (and since I am in love with him too), I could totally imagine Robert Pattinson playing Jesse. I just know…he’ll fit that character so well... (Hey, Even though the mediator series is YA, such light reads are fun too…!)


3) THE TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE: okay I admit, I cry when I read novels, the sad romantic kind. Even though I was sure I am totally devoid of such feelings in real life, when I read romantic books and the girl and the guy get separated, I cry. This novel made me cry even more than Erich Segal’s LOVE STORY. Must read.


4) Rajniti: I dunno what people liked in this movie!! Most of the twists were expected. Katrina wasn’t looking her usual cute self… so what was in this movie????(I never really liked Ranbir).

5) Friendship day 2010: I never thought back when we were in 2nd year that our class would come so far. But we have. Around 40people, in the evening made a split second plan to spend friendship day together. Made all the arrangements without any assistance in the night. And voila! Next morning we were off …. Loved this day!!! Had so much fun!!! My fav. Part: dedication of songs for everyone. Having a late night dinner (which was way too costly) in ‘Macchan’. Came home at 1 a.m. really sleepy and tired.

6) EXTC’s BUNKS: Which have become very famous. Again another example of the unity that our class has acquired over the years. Not so much bunks now, but a month back, everyone was so annoyed that we got to bunk so much!!!


7) Manisha Sharma’s Birthday Treat: Some 15 people I enjoy being with, lots of jokes and humor flying around, loud laughter ;) exceptionally good food (even with Gulshan’s standards.), happy and relaxed end of the day.

8) Lady Gaga’s “just dance” and Katy Perry’s “I kissed a girl”: I abso-lutely LOVE both these numbers. They are catchy, have feel-good music, perfect for d dance floor, and I soo like the lyrics (I’v had a lil bit too much…lost my phone..cant find my keys oh man…what’s the name of this club…I cant remember but its alright...aa..alright.. just dance! )(I kissed a girl, I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick;I kissed a girl just to try it, hope my boyfriend don’t mind it..) !! What else do we need, oh yeah, great video…. I just don’t get bored of this song… ditto wit paparazzi and poker face..!

9) Fight with Vishal: Out of all my cousins, he is my favorite brother and he isn’t talking to me! And I dunno whose fault it was..!! Not being on talking terms with him sucks!! And I miss talking to him!!


10) Asmita’s birthday gift and later her treat: This crazy woman kept on suggesting gifts to give her on her birthday and not normal things, gifts which were impossible for us to buy or which were not available…. We finally got her something, which she wanted, and I can’t really disclose what it was..! And before we could gift it to her, she came to know about it and kept laughing over the fact that we had actually got it for her. I could have murdered her, I swear!

And then we ate a REALLY costly snack for her treat, just us 5girls. Vegetarian! Hahaha that was fun!! AND it had been a long time since just us, four friends had been together, relaxed, had fun, and that day offered us what we needed..


11) VINITA’S WEDDING:
Okay, that’s more than 10, but huh, who cares?? My cousin VINITA got married...It felt like she was going away. Anyways she always was busy in her work and all, and now, she would be present in our get-togethers even less!! Or maybe not.
Well she did move away, towards a happy married life! Wishing her all the good luck and happiness she deserves!

12) I guess that’s the end of my list.

hmmm!!! feeling devastated!! crazyy... wont be long by the time im ok.... i think...

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

okay so i was thinking of uploading some stuff iv written in my lappy..but as usual my pendrive is lost somewhere...and as usual i'll find it somewhere soon enuf...so even tho rt now, iv got nothing special to post...i need to write right away...

i found myself in a weird mood this evening.... and by 10p.m. i was nervous and frustated and tensed..thanx to some people, who wouldnt stop behaving in a cruel way...
so wat if i treated them cruelly at some point too...???
but i totally repent it..and m trying to improve myself..

keeping that apart, as i found myself on the verge of tears i immediately texted my friends....simply asking how were studies goin on...since universities are just a month away....so, one of them,K replied immediately with the answer,another, M textd back saying she was having dinner n wud reply soon...

the third one... yes....she dint reply at all....now this particular friend has recently found new love in her life...and i feel betrayed...(of crse thats purely selfish of me) cz she and i were the "single gals" of my group....the other two being happy in a relationship already...so i had put her into my list of "we r olways gonna b single now..."friends....but as iv already said... anyway...

so now that K had replied immediatey...i told her what exactly had been going on in my mind....and no matter how hard she tried to calm me down...i was stll a confused bundle of nerves...

after some time M replied and later when id shouted enuf at her for replying so late.... we start chatting...and after a while i had again blabbed to her why i was so frustated, angry, tensed, etc...(i truly deeply THANK god for sending me this angel)...even tho she sounds like a scolding mother or a preacher at tyms,no matter what, she always does succeed at calming my mind n me down..(which is not such an easy task, lemme tell u)...

and again her inspiring words failed to inspire me to sit down n start studyng immediately....i felt absolutely at peace nevertheless...and u know..some time around 2a.m. i will start studyng....

my third friend still hasnt replied....she must still be with her new found prince charming or must b talking to him...and even tho i feel betrayed coz she went ahead and is now committed, i cant help feeling really happy for her...coz it's been a really long time for her... A had always been the crazy one!!now she is crazy for a guy...ok...i can take that...

i am so thakful to god that iv got such awesome friends with so absurdly different characteristics...helping, crazy, shy, funny, studious, serious, still every one of those 3 angels is unique...and i love them so much..

feeling slightly nauseous again thinking that after a year we'll all be probably in diffrent cities...diffrent jobs...but there is still some 7months left of college and im gonna make sure i enjoy everysingle moment with them!!!